With plasticene good looks, polished enamel caps, and a pompadoured coif that would make Oral Roberts himself as green as a fistful of C-notes, DJ Lonesome calls the shots with style. Even if that means "knockin' heads" and "breakin' balls" on an international conference call over his mid-morning martini. And while Lonesome is busy eating all his rival agents and bookies for brunch, he's strong-arming some two-bit promoter for a few dollars more on Line 2.

They all know you don't underestimate the lengths to which DJ Lonesome will go for his ladies. God help the fool playing grab-ass with any of the girls. "You can look, but don't touch.. .because if you break it, you buy it. And trust me, you can NOT afford it."

Impressively, DJ Lonesome also serves as the Master of Ceremonies at all PANTY RAID! extravaganzas. He's always a cinch to spot with his trademark ascot and spats. With style like that, ladies agree: he's both easy on the eyes AND the ears...as his smooth, baritone pipes drip like honey into his solid gold, RCA broadcast mike. Yet look close. While Lonesome spins those way-out rockabilly platters, he's puttin' the heat on management or busy counting the night's earnings, hand over fist, behind that high tone Hi-Fi.

But there's always time for one more dance once his bankroll is safely tucked inside the lining of his sharkskin suit. Care to bop, anyone?

Handsome, suave, yet ruthless, DJ Lonesome is what you want in a manager. Whether he's blowing the kneecaps out from under a crooked bar-keep, or bitch-slapping some no-good, catty ho', the good DJ is in complete control. He's a man on top of his game, his girls and the rest of this coo-coo crazy world.